I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
