I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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