i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
