I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Even my vagina gasped.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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