Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
i need some magic done to my vagina
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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