just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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