Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just had sex on a roof
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
