Me. At least after what I've been through.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize