I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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