Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
