Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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