Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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