ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i barfeds in our rink
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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