Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
