Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
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