She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize