new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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