So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
