am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize