he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
