i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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