Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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