well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
