we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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