And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You are the jesus of drinking
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
