I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Randomize
