i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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