Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
