So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
