Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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