Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
