I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
