The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I need a burrito and a hug.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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