Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
