We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
