Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
