i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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