He disabled his match.com account in front of me
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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