I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
