Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
