i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
