I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
