last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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