Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
