please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Omg I joined a choir last night...
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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