My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Randomize
