People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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