So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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