Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
