sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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