Did you just see the Batmobile???
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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