Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
