he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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