You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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