Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize