I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
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