You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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