My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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