Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
