maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
