I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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