hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Randomize
