I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
