woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
