New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
