so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
