Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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