guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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